Entering My 5th Decade Of Life And Hating 40

The numbers on the digital clock on my DVD player keep changing. 11:54pm, 11:55pm, 11:56pm.  Only 4 minutes to go now.

4 minutes till entering my 5th decade on the planet. For all you math majors out there that means 4 minutes till I turn 40 years old. How the hell did this happen?

I can still remember a good chunk of high school and at least 3/4 of college like it was last week. When I started my first job after graduating I had grand plans to save every penny I could and retire before turning 40. Now I’ll be lucky to stop working before I am 80. Assuming I make it past 70 that is. 11:57pm. 3 minutes left.

I wish I could slow down the clock but it keeps marching forward. Only 2 minutes of my 30’s left.  And speaking of my 30’s I had no problem with the past ten years. They actually felt pretty good. If 1999 - 2009 was the prime of my life, then what will the next decade bring? Are my 40’s the beginning ….. of the end?

I have partied hard, enjoyed an occasional drink, smoked a few cigars, rarely slept more then 4 hours a night, ate way to much fast food, and definitely not flossed my teeth enough. I am pretty sure that I will not make it to 80 years old. So if that is true then 1/2 of my life is now over. I am crossing OVER the half way point. That fact alone is depressing enough. Less then a minute to go. Only a few seconds left.

A few months ago I noticed that many younger people were addressing me as “sir”. “Thank you sir.” “I’ll be right with you sir.” “Do you need help sir”. When exactly did I become my father?  My hair is still cropped short and I wear stylish jeans with fancy patterns on the back pockets and shiny leather shoes from Aldo and Kenneth Cole. I have the coolest gadgets, smart phones, and can navigate around Facebook and YouTube like a teenager. Yet I am now “Sir”. The hits just keep on coming.

The clock has flipped over to show 12:00 midnight. Yesterday AND tomorrow have become today. It’s official. I am 40 years old.  Happy Birthday to me.