Saying Goodbye To Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old  friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many  years.  No one  knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the  early bird gets the worm; life isn’t always fair; and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t  spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of  a 6-year-old  boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;  teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher  fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his   condition.  Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

He declined even  further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to  a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and  wanted to have an  abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as  the churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment  than their  victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home without the  burglar suing you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up  the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot,  spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in  death by his parents Truth and Trust, by his wife Discretion, his  daughter Responsibility, and his son Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers: I Know My Rights; I Want It Now; Someone Else Is To Blame; and I’m A Victim.

Not  many attended his funeral because so few  realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

An Obituary  printed in the London Times.